August 22nd of home alone..and really alone!

this weekend..no one at home..all my friends gone back to their places for the long weekend..and my best friend wasn't able to make it to pune! so basically NO ONE to hang out with! sad right?

but..but..but..i am having a really AWESOME weekend!

its not exactly new..i have stayed home alone many times! and when i am alone i always freak out..friends over my place..staying out late in the night..you get the idea? basically do all the things i am not allowed to!

whats new this time i guess is that suddenly out of nowhere i wanted to stay ALONE..properly alone! i didn't wanna go meet friends...booze..have hukka..chat!

this weekend was completely just me..net..tv..music..fun with my sis..cooking..house chores..staring outside windows..thinking..
and just loving my life totally!

i am so proud of the fact that i made a completely meant-to-be-disastrous weekend into so much of fun...
alone!! :)

muaaahh..to me!
and you too..to read any rubbish that i write!! :P :*

August 9th of Weird Happy Moods and Flower dissection! :|

okay so first goes the weirder one! thats right flower dissection!!

i dunno how many people are into biology and out of them how many like botany! but seriously have you ever tried dissecting flowers? i learnt that in my latest floral biology class..and its soooo cool! okay...laugh at me how much ever you want but i am telling you..you know the kind of interest guys have in opening up all sorts of machines and cars and stuff..thats the kind of high it gives me! so what i did today was..i dissected two-three flowers from my mum's garden!! :P
salvia, gerbera and peppermint..i doubt you are interested but anyway since you read this much you could bear some more! :P

the second part is..well..you see i have exams coming up..from tomorrow...my mid terms..
i have two DIFFICULT papers tomorrow! and i haven't even touched one of them and finished about 60% of the other! and i don't feel like studying at all! normally at this stage i would be in full swing tension mode..but right now i don't give a fuck! i just wanna go write those stupid papers, finish them off and go to Thane!!
i know what you are wondering...so how come i am happy??
I DON'T KNOW!! i am just very very happy!! i am missing so many people..i just want to thank them for being there in my life...feel like opening up and talking to them..feel like meeting strangers and allowing them to know me for the very first time! AND i feel like hugging someone tight...JUST hugging mind you..i count that as a good thing because normally i am scared of emotional intimacy (not physical)..
and oh yeah..i also feel like going off on my own somewhere far off..for a month or so!

i just read what i wrote...and i realised its very difficult to put this feeling into words! i am not doing justice to it...whatever..at least now you know why i call it weird happy moods!

P.S. Does anyone know where i could bungee jump? i want to bungee jump..
seriously if i had a rope or something i would jump off my eighth floor balcony! :P

August 2nd of F.U.N.

August finally started! i wasn't really in love with july! :|

today had to be totally one of the best days ever!! i bunked college without telling mum n dad...and set out for a day alone!! its so cooolll! i watched inception alone...AWESOME movie!
ate at KFC...went to crosswords.. :))))
i know most people would feel like its so lame and loner types to go alone!! but its is really fun..and besides today i didn't want company! i wanted alone time..to fucking love my life and love myself!

P.S.- i want to dance! :)

July 22nd of Shopping and Some!

ohk...well it wasn't exactly today that i shopped...it was yesterday! and it was soo much of funnn!!...after a LONG time!!

and then i went and enquired about the CAT classes at time also!! and i am gonna start off next week!...yayy! i am so proud of myself! :)

today i also went to McDonald's and CCD with a friend and allowed myself to binge a bit! i promise i am gonna walk back from college tomorrow.

P.S.- i think i am feeling a bit guilty but the cookie medley in CCD and chicken macMaharaja in Mc was totally worth it!! :)

P.P.S.- i think i wanna add that i am really feeling like i am back on track in life..it feels good you know..REALLY feeling happy?!...satisfied..at peace with the world instead of having to struggle with yourself to love life! :)

JULY 20th

i am usually bad with dates but i am going to remember this one forever!

the awesomest thing that could have happened today did! an incident which has filled me with too much of hatred...but i have decided to convert all the hurt and anger into something beautiful...loads of inspiration and aggressive passion! i want to make something out of myself...prove my worth to my dad and to myself!

i sound like a hypocrite to myself right now seeing the amount of times i have said that doing a thing for someone else is not right...to yourself! but thats the only way i see it right now! and i don't care!

tomorrow is going to be a different day...enough of crying nyx! (nyx sounded really weird! :D)

July 18th of Cooking food! :P

ohk...thats has been a long time now since i cooked anything like proper...maggi and omelettes do not count!!
so it was really awesome when i cooked the complete lunch today...rotis..egg bhurji..and aloo ki sabzi!! yaypee...i am so proud of myself! :) :P

July 16th of Inspirations and Comfort food!

ohk..it should go the other way round actually!! i was having a bad day and couldn't seem to make it miraculously turn good!! so i just settled for comfort food! loads of it! pizza, choco lava cake, chicken wings and coke!! domino's rocks!!
but then i actually started feeling really weirdly depressed...coz i was all alone at home...watching tv and eating pizza like loners in movies do!!
thats when my best friend called...(ohk i hate calling her best friend again and again..i'll very soon find her an alternate name!)..and i had the awesomest talk with her...for an hour and a half! i am so inspired...that i am 95% sure i am going to switch to psychoanalysis!!
and lately i have been having everyone tell me that i should!! yaypee!! 5% more to go! :D

July 13th of Crying, Laughing and Cad-B!

today was a scary day if i may say so!! i was sooooo dead bored at college and wanted real bad to go out and have some fun but frankly i don't have any company!

so all i really did was talk for a whole of two hours with my friend...cry in between...get really depressed and frustrated and irritated and fucked up..
and then as the conversation continued things got sorted and i felt better and then i was laughing like crazyy on stupid jokes! i think i might be a bipolar or something! :|

Whatever...life's weird but i am not giving in! tomorrow i am going for 'I hate luv storys' alone! or at least within this week! :P

and oh yes! i forgot! i had the awesomest ever two full Cad-Bs ever! me likes!! :D

July 11th of New Beginnings and AWESOME fun!

Wow!! i really loved the past two days SOO much!

i had sleepovers..chats down memory lane..quite a bit of binge eating and getting drunk..and loads of spending money!(that reminds me i am going to have to control my expenditure all over again..i am so gonna be a bad saver!! :|)

and and and...i tried hookah!! first time...consecutive two days! wow..awesum...though i am bit scared of getting addicted!! :|

moreover the past two days it was weird...everything felt like it was falling right back in place..jigsaw puzzle getting solved..you know like the way you feel when all you want is somehow actually happening!
i am happpy!!! actually more like content!! and i love the feeling!! :)

July 9th of getting the net and my best friend!!

oh-my-gawd!! in the same day?!!!?
i must be getting really lucky again!!
shit seriously god only knows how i managed to survive no proper net for such a long timeeee!! i hated it! there was just this cybercafe down the road but it sucked. and i would hate blogging from there!! no particular reason...JuSt!
anyway so i finally got wireless connection at my place..after a tremendously long period of time..and guess what..not only that..i have my best friend coming over to my place for the weekend from thane!! awsomeee!!!
i am absolutely sure that the next two days are gonna totally rock..so i am definitely gonna write about them.. :)

June 11th of long talks and beliefs

Today i browsed the whole of wikipedia for all types of interpretations of quantum mechanics in relation to God and philosophy. And oh-my-god! Its sooo kool! I started out to get some 'proof' for the existence of a supernatural power for a friend of mine who is an atheist...and ended up with the added advantage of renewed stronger belief in Him...

Today i talked with my friend for a looong time..about many random things. and once again i realised she just rocks. i could talk about anything under the sun with her. tomorrow if i tell her the craziest thing ever..totally out of the blue...i know she would still accept me for the way i am!! i am sooo glad and thankful for having her in my life!! :)

June 9th of old friends and mochas

I met some really old school friends by pure coincidence today at Cafe Coffee Day!
And although i thought it would be awkward, it was surprisingly pretty much fun and nice! i realised people can change a lot over the years!

June 8th of puddles and jobs!

so it rained reaaall heavy! and this time i was down!! so walked back home splashing water puddles!! i love acting like kid somtimes!! :)))
yayy..got a small chintoo part time job offer!! but its not pakka..so shhh!! :P

June 7th of the RAINS!

i found 1 more thing to add!!!

yayy...i think i could say the monsoons officially started today!! :)
i love the rains...albeit the half-dry-half-wet state!! :|
i sat in the balcony of my house on the 25th floor today drinking a huge mug of hot coffee!! by the way..the rain looks sooo different from the 25th floor!! i love it! :)

and i am shifting to an open terrace flat in pune...which means that i can get wet any time i want to!! :)))

June 7th of Writings and Contentment

I wrote the first post of my second blog...and even though i am a bit skeptical about how long I'll be able to maintain this fervour for writing i am very happy that i am giving it a try! and moreover the whole thing just made me really light and sorted for some reason!!

i realised that i am at peace with myself again...after a very long time!! i am grateful foe this feeling of contentment!! :)

June 6th of colours and pscho!

so i finally decided i wanted coloured nails...so i went ahead and bought this nice shade of blue and a bright one of yellow!! :)

and today was a significant day because i read a blogpost which made me want do pursue psychology all over again!! i hope i stick to my plan this time!!

June 5th of new homes and new beginnings!

so i am finally gonna shift to pune!! and i have like a thousand reasons to be happy!!

1. no hostel

2. no hostel mess

3. my mommy...yeah i know i wanted to get out of home as fast as possible after my twelfth...but seriously i am so tired of staying in my hostel..i could even bear my mum and dads fights!

4. a new two wheeler

5. a chance to start new with being myself!

yayyy...i like!! :D

June 4th of movies n masti!

today i went and watched raajneeti...

and absolutely enjoyed it!! ranbir kapoor is the hotness...even in evil scheming political roles!!

plus i shared a whole tub of caramel popcorn with my best friend!!

:D